Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Turning 40 is awesome!

Everyone's been saying that "it all goes down hill after 40," so I've been eagerly waiting to prove them all wrong! :) Well, my time has finally come. Yesterday I turned 40 and made sure that I went to the gym, just like usual, and ran the usual 2 miles, walked the 1 mile (and added an extra 1/2 mile for good measure) just to make sure that nothing "magical" would happen now that I turned 40. So far, so good. Of course, this morning, someone changed it to, "no, it's 50 when everything starts going downhill." I guess the good news is that for everybody it's different. For me, I am trying to live a life of balance under the direct control of the Holy Spirit, so I don't dread the 40's or even the 50's.
Actually, yesterday was one of the most fun birthdays I have ever had! My husband made an appointment for me at Styles on Broadway (in Martin, TN) to get a massage and a pedicure at their spa--it was fantastic!!! The place is amazing! Everything they do is about making the client feel special and calm and relaxed. After two hours of being pampered, I was looking for my chauffeur to drive me home! Well, that might have gone to my head, so it's a good thing Jason didn't think of that. But when I got home, SURPRISE!! He had invited 3 couples over to eat dinner with us while Jena Bea took our kids to a movie. All were happy. It will sound so very selfish, but I must say that for 15 years I have wanted a surprise party! Jason really couldn't believe that he pulled it off, and I couldn't believe that I didn't figure it out either. I felt so special, like Cinderella stepping out of her magical coach for a few short hours. Yes, I did enjoy the attention! I tried to justify my pleasure in a "me day" by saying that 364 days out of the year I am giving of myself to everyone else. Not sure if that's godly or not, but one thing I am sure about--I am a very blessed 40 year old. After everyone left and the evening was winding down, I began to think about all the blessings of my life and on something untrue that I have been told most of my life. It is this: Pastors and their wives should not have close friends. Can I just say, that is a bunch of hooey! We have been living and ministering in Hickman, KY for 7 years this coming May and I have struggled with this idea for most of this time. But it is so clear to me that God has given me many different relationships for different reasons. These three couples that helped us celebrate my birthday are all walking through parenting children, just like we are. They are wanting to grow spiritually in their personal lives and in their marriages. It is such a blessing to just "do life" with these couples. This is not a "group" that I have chosen, but I believe God has given each one of these friends to me. We rarely do things all together, and I guess that's why last night was so special. Just being together is comfortable for me. I don't have to "be" anyone special with them--just myself. They love me, even knowing my struggles and my weaknesses. None of them expect me to be perfect, they know better. And each one of them challenges me to walk closer to God and to be consistent in my time with Him. For that, I am so blessed! Honestly, I hope that our "group" grows as God brings more couples along who desire to live radical, sold-out lives for Christ. I watch these couples making hard decisions to do the right thing, and it encourages me. God is working! I feel sure that there will be some who read this who think this is not a good choice, posting about a few close friends, but I can't help but feel so blessed that at this time in my life, I feel surrounded by positive relationships! And it makes such a difference in my spiritual walk. Thank you, Girls (and your wonderful husbands!), for taking the risk of being talked about or labeled, and still being a friend to a pastor's wife who desperately needs to do life with others. I was not created for isolation, and I have grown so much just knowing you all. I love you, Girls!
Another thing I have pondered about friendships, is how God seems to keep giving me others who aren't necessarily in my same walk of life, but who have "already been there and done that." What a treasure, to be able to talk to a mom or grandmom who has already raised her children and can encourage me with mine. Ladies who are committed to living for the Lord and encourage me to do that as well. That is one of the joys of being part of a small church. I have made friends with ladies of all ages, not just those in my same age bracket. Wisdom is found here and many times has given me something to look forward to in the years to come. I guess a new revelation for me has been that in this wonderful, small town of Hickman, I am enjoying relationships with other ladies who are not a part of my church, but are dedicated to their own church family. Instead of viewing each other as competition, we are able to work together for the kingdom of God and for this community. What a blessing! I love these ladies! I love how God just keeps adding to my "girl friend" list, although it is not a list I have ever written down. :) This just seems to be a time when I am reflective and so grateful for God's gifts. Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the forever friends that I have within my own family--godly members who build into my life, as well. And over the years, there has been one friend who I can call and I don't have to explain myself. She just knows. She gets it. She understands. She's loved God longer, deeper, and more passionately than I ever have--and she loves me unconditionally. When things are troubling me and I can't talk to anyone in my church or town, I can call her. We were blessed to live next door to each other twice in our lives and some of our kids have "forever friends" between the two families. This has been enough to carry me through times when I felt all alone in Hickman, or when I wondered if God would give my kids a close friend here in town. The Penas have blessed our family and in many ways, have become like family to us. We had dreams of buying land and living out on our own farm, teaching our children school together, and simply "living off the land." Things have changed and those dreams are gone, but our friendship still remains. I am humbled by the blessings in my life. Always amazed at the healthy, energetic children God has given us; still in awe of the gorgeous, godly husband I'm married to these 15.5 years, and now the realization that I have been given so many friends to walk through life with. Wow! What a blessed 40 year old I am!